When being 'busy' becomes self-sabotage
A former coworker in his 30s was always running around in a fury of busyness, only to find himself hospitalized with chest pain.
And yet, our culture often encourages this kind of self-destructive behavior.
Listen, coming from a middle-class family, I love hard work, but it’s often confused with constant busyness.
In Nathaniel Philbrick's book, Mayflower, the Puritans initially mistook the Native Americans' summer leisure for laziness.
But, they soon realized that they had already done the hard work of preparing for winter and were simply enjoying the fruits of their labor.
The Puritans' misunderstanding of work ethic is not just a historical anecdote—it resonates with our modern busyness obsession.
Just like the Puritans confused the Native Americans' strategic approach in life for laziness, we mistake busyness with productivity.
People are always ‘busy’ now.
In fact, if your answer to ‘how are you?’ doesn’t include ‘busy’ in it, people probably assume you lack ambition—That you’re not doing everything you should be doing.
As I age, I’m coming to realize what a small number of things you can actually do in life. And an even smaller number of things you can do well.
A lot of people seem to prance around as if their level of ‘busyness’ is an appendage of their self-worth.
We've grown up equating a hectic lifestyle with industriousness, but it’s often the opposite.
Busyness is deceptive
Deceive: to cause someone to believe something that is false.
Busyness feels like hard work but it tricks you with a false sense of accomplishment.
In the 17th century, sailors used a technique called dead-reckoning.
The method involved estimating position based on speed and direction, without any external points of reference.
Unsurprisingly, there were lots of shipwrecks.
Similarly, we can start to feel proud of our misguided ineptitude because it looks and feels productive.
What busyness and scarcity have in common
Scarcity: a subjective sense of having more needs than resources.
Busyness is just a form of scarcity—having less than you feel you need.
Scarcity is a mind virus.
It zombifies its victims.
Like Eldar Shafir puts it in his book Scarcity:
When we experience scarcity of any kind, we become fully absorbed by it. The mind orients automatically, powerfully, toward unfulfilled needs…It changes the way we think. It imposes itself on our minds.
You need ‘slack’ to siphon away scarcity
Slack can’t co-exist with a scarcity, because you’ll never feel free.
We need unused brain space—which is impossible if you’re always busy.
We also need slack to enjoy life.
Ok, I've got things to work on today, but I’ve also created slack, which means I'm randomly going to the library with my 7-year and I’m going for walk in the morning with my wife.
Slack allows you to indulge in serendipity.
Slack allows you to operate as if there’s no trade-off.
Slack frees you.
And we need slack to be efficient.
The truly efficient laborer will be found not to crowd his day with work but will saunter to his task surrounded by a wide halo of ease and leisure.
Henry David Thoreau
Freedom is found in a philosophical approach
As writer Sahil Bloom puts it:
Make decisions that your 80-year old self and 10-year-old self approve of. The former cares about the long-term compounding of actions, while the latter reminds you to have some fun along the way.
This perspective encourages contemplation of both the long-term and the present moment.
What does this look like in practice?
For me, it starts with regularly asking myself some questions:
Am I focusing on the most important things, or just the most urgent?
Is this work energizing me or draining me?
What would happen if I said ‘no’ to this? Is it truly essential, or just a distraction?
These questions force intentional choices about where you invest your time and energy.
Define non-negotiables—the things that matter most to you, like family time, exercise, and creative pursuits—and protect them like a mother bear would protect her cubs.
Say no to opportunities, even if they seem prestigious or might be lucrative (this is especially hard for me).
Make rest and play part of your work, not optional extras.
Like the Native Americans in Philbrick's anecdote, be strategic about your efforts, create slack and have fun.
Life is too precious to spin on the hamster wheel of busyness.
Don’t wait until you’re in the hospital to recognize the truth—that there's more to life than always answering the question “how are you?”, with “oh I’m really busy.”
